Death Battle! Done Right
by Sai Kunai Blade
Summary: These two have had this coming for a while. They have killed many of our favorite childhood icons and symbols of innocence and now it's their turn. Death Battle! Wiz vs. Boomstick. This is to cheer up my friend and co-host of our future Death Battle series, Maikou and to demonstrate how the story should be written. Anyway, one will live, one will die, who will it be?
1. Intro and Wizard

Maikou: These two have been going at it for a while now: Killing all of our favorite childhood icons and figures of innocence.

Sai: Boomstick, the trigger happy co-host and source of comedy behind Death Battle.

Maikou: And Wizard, the director and brains behind Death Battle.

Sai: He's Maikou and and I'm Sai Blade.

Maikou: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills-

Sai: The RIGHT way!

Maikou: To find out who would win A DEATH BATTLE.

[The Death Battle door slams, then opens to reveal Wizard.]

Maikou: Wizard is the Director and most of the brains behind this twisted slaughterhouse of a show.

Sai: So, if you wanna go there, technically HE'S the murderer of childhood innocence.

Maikou: R-right, he is apparently the one who actually chooses which Death Battles will be made into reality and which ones will be left to the imagination.

Sai: Oh, come on! Who DOESN'T want to see Naruto beat the ever-living SHIT out of Black Star?! Deathstroke and Ezio!

Maikou: ANYWAY, being the smarter of the two, Wiz is PRESUMABLY a better strategist and better at planning in general than his drunken counterpart.

**Background: Director of Death Battle**

**Probably smarter than the average person on the street**

**Has decent skills with numbers and calculations**

Sai: He also seems to have a metal arm that I'm guessing makes him stronger than the average human… And if not, he's always got something hard to hit you with. By the way, we're going with their little sprites or whatever from their 2nd Death Battle Q&amp;A.

**Metal Arm: Presumably makes him stronger**

**Gives him something hard to hit people with**

**Reflective surface: Can look from behind cover with it**

**Can probably be used to block bullets**

Maikou: He also seems to have what appears to be some form of cybernetic eye-

Sai: You gotta look close for this one, I almost didn't catch it myself. You can tell because, unlike the other one, it has crosshairs in it.

Maikou: We can assume that this eye can point out weaknesses in his foe and possibly strategic advantages, striking points and maybe pressure points in general.

**Cyborg eye: not necessarily an advantage**

**May be able to make stretegies and analyze weak points**

Maikou: He is the more calm and level-headed of the two, but he is not perfect.

Sai: As I have proven with my correcting mistakes stories, many of his predictions are actually wrong, a good number of his calculations are off and he tends to overlook crucial details that may tip the balance in the favor of the people who lost, but should have won, such as Ryu's fire dragon or Pikachu's Volt Tackle, which WIZ HIMSELF said strikes with the force of a megaton warhead.

Maikou: Right and even though he does display numbers, he has been shown to actually show bias and have whiny fits about certain things. Such as:

**Wiz on Michelangelo's choice of weapon:**

"The nunchaku isn't even a weapon at all. It's a farming tool for threshing grain. These 'WEAPONS' Are just overcomplicated clubs with the effectiveness of a tattered flyswatter. Yet somehow, Michelangelo has been able to blunder his way through victories he doesn't deserve. Sure, I get it, swinging chuks around gives him momentum to hit stuff with, but in the end, a baseball bat will give you the same effect and more with much less effort. Seriously, who came up with these things?! They're preposterous!"

Sai: Fuck you, Wizard, I'd kick your ass with nunchuks! Break that metal arm off right now, I'll tell you that much!

**Still Wiz on Michelangelo:**

"And for some reason, in all his infinite wisdom, the great Master Splinter gave the most COMPLICATED weapon to the RETARD of the group. WHY?"

"Mikey's not gonna win this fight, is he?"

"He BETTER not!"

Sai: Boom! Right there! Obvious bias! I may not like certain characters. But if I'm pitting them in a battle to the death I do them justice and keep my opinion to myself!

Maikou: And the one that makes ME maddest:

Sai: Oh, here we go…

**Wiz on Pikachu's refusal to evolve:**

"Even thought Pikachu has long-since reached his maximum potential, he refuses to evolve into the vastly superior Raichu due to some pretentious excuse of love and acceptance. What a waste of potential, can you imagine how powerful he could be as a Raichu?"

Maikou: SEE?! Pikachu doesn't need to evolve, it's strong enough! It can take down any Raichu it comes across easily.

Sai: … After getting beaten once by said Raichu.

Maikou: Either way! Wiz is an opinionated, whiny baby!

Sai: And while not exactly arrogant, he is foolish enough to believe that he never once makes a mistake and his WAY too proud of his calculations, which in many cases, he overestimates.

**Weaknesses:**

**Prone to nerd fits**

**Not as accurate as he likes to believe**

**DOES make mistakes**

**Overestimates his calculations**

**OFTEN skips over important details**

Sai: But still, the fans love his work, wrong or not, so I don't see Death Battle going down the drain any time soon.

"Well we- I don't make mistakes."

[The Death Battle Door Closes]


	2. Boomstick

[The Death Battle Door opens to reveal Boomstick]

Sai: Boom stick is the drunken, redneck co-host of Death Battle. Just you're average, everyday, overly-violent redneck… WITH A FRIGGIN' SHOTGUN FOR A LEG!

Maikou: Indeed, Boomstick usually does the work on the characters offensive abilities and most of the time, although he DOES share this with Wizard, weapons.

Sai: He basically tells you about the ways the characters have to hurt people.

Maikou: Considering he apparently either lives in the wilderness or out in the boonies where he must fend for himself, he has significant survival and hunting abilities and probably a decent amount of combat abilities.

Sai: At least more-so than his number-crunching counterpart

**Background:**

**Co-host and violence analyzer for Death Battle**

**Extreme survival skills**

**Probably has good combat skills**

He is actively more than willing to hurt people and considering he has 2 double-barreled shotguns, certainly has the means to do so.

Maikou: That's right, Sai, although it can only fire 2 rounds before needing to reload, people can usually carry about 40 to 60 shells for it and when it's empty, as Boomstick probably would, it can be used as a club

Sai: In addition, it only takes a total of 6 seconds to reload, depending of course on your coordination and whether or not you're a complete clutz.

Maikou: The recoil damage is relatively low, but so is its penetration power.

Sai: But that doesn't matter when you're close enough to blow off limbs like in Robocop. That was some hardcore punishment.

Maikou: True. And it also doesn't matter if your opponent isn't armored.

Sai: And if that's the case, any part of you that gets shot is getting a hole blown into it or blown off.

**Double barrel shotgun:**

**Magazine size: 2 rounds**

**Maximum ammunition: 40-60 rounds**

**Reload time: 2.65 per shell**

**Rate of fire: 212 rpm**

**Range: 12.5-15 meters**

**Recoil: medium**

**Penetration: small**

**Semi-automatic (Break action)**

Sai: I think Wiz is kinda screwed here.

Maikou: Maybe, but Boomstick is far from being any ultimate fighter. He is usually drunk, or getting himself there, is much less clever than his strategic counterpart and, while we're still on the topic of strategy, he employs absolutely NONE, just like his hero Doomguy.

Sai: And, while it's pretty badass, having a shotgun for a leg probably makes things a little more difficult.

**Weaknesses:**

**Seems to be drunk most of the time**

**Horrible strategist**

**Not as smart as wizard**

**Shotgun leg makes basic mobility harder**

Maikou: But still, out of the two of them, Boomstick HAS to be the deadliest.

Sai: So, who gives a shit? Just let him kill people!

"It's time for a Death BATLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEE!"

[The Death Battle Doors Close]


	3. DEATH BATTLE!

Maikou: Alright, the combatants are set! Let's end this debate once and for all.

Sai: It's time for a DEATH BATTLLLLLLLLLEEEEEE that's done the right way!

[The Death Battle Doors close and open to see Boomstick walking through the Screwattack office]

Boomstick was walking into the Death Battle office to finally solve his own personal dilemma of who would win between him and Wizard. He burst through the doors of the office and located his brainy counterpart, taking aim.

**FIGHT!**

Wiz held up his arm to block and ducked just before Boomstick pulled the trigger, blowing up the stuff Wiz was working on and ricocheting some pellets off of the robot arm as he stayed put behind the desk. He used his metal arm to see around the corner of the desk to see Boomstick slowly approaching and used his robot eye to analyze his opponent.

"**Subject: Boomstick. Status: Hostile. Weak points: Liver is weak due to alcohol abuse. Left leg has weak balance and stability."**

Wiz quickly and silently snuck around the desk as Boomstick approach. Turning, the one-legged redneck realized his target was not there. Quickly glancing to the left and right, he saw nothing and was about to continue on. Suddenly, Wiz jumped out from behind him and smashed him in the back of the neck with his metal arm, stunning the larger man and allowing Wiz to kick the shotgun leg, sending him to the ground, face first. Quickly spinning, Boomstick took aim with his gun leg and fired, but, knowing that was coming, Wiz was already prepared and quickly brought his arm up as Boomstick pulled the trigger and deflected the bullets.

Quickly, Wiz got back up and tackled Wiz to the ground, smashing the butt of the shotgun into his face, before being punched in the face with the metal arm, knocking him off of his opponent and onto his back. Once again, he aimed his shotgun leg, having dropped the other one, aiming for Wiz's leg, firing and successfully ripping off a bit of flesh from his leg, stopping the director of Death Battle in his tracks.

He fell holding his leg as Wiz went for his discarded shotgun, but Wiz quickly grabbed his leg and pulled him back a bit, punching him in the small of his back. This momentarily stunned him, allowing Wiz to try and reach for the shotgun himself, But Boomstick quickly brought his head up and smashed Wiz in the jaw, causing him to stagger back, then he kicked him in the stomach with his shotgun leg, knocking him to the ground and allowing him to grab the shotgun. Wiz looked up just in time to see the barrel of the shotgun in his face.

"So long, buddy." Boomstick said, pulling the trigger, blasting Wiz's brains out of his head.

**K.O!**

Sai: Sad as it is, all friendships must inevitably come to an end.

Maikou: Wiz was smarter and could certainly outsmart Boomstick, but after living out in the woods and fending for himself on ridiculous meals he has to hunt down on his own.

Sai: Just like Blanka!

Maikou: He was tougher and has more experience than Wiz and his superior arsenal ultimately triumphed.

Sai: This fight was a blast!

Maikou: The winner is Boomstick.

Sai: Next time on Death Battle (Which will be by Maikou).

Mewtwo vs. Frieza


End file.
